On Being an Introverted Christian

I’m an introvert.

I’m a fairly classic introvert, who is not outgoing or comfortable in large groups of people I don’t know, who requires lots of alone time to function, who could easily become a actual hermit if I lived alone and didn’t need to work for a living. Parties where I only know one person are very stressful. Fictional people are so much easier to deal with than real people.

Small talk is so hard. What do I say? What questions do I ask? Oh no, did I just come off as a crazy person?

Walking up and starting a conversation with someone I don’t know is enough to give me heart palpitations. I did that at church recently, with people I don’t know personally but who know who my family is, and my hands were shaking through the whole conversation, my heart was pounding, and I was praying I could get the words out without tripping over them and stuttering and saying strange things. Corners are the best place to be at events, because then people come to you if they want to talk to you.

If you see me at an event and I don’t talk to you, please know that I probably think you’re really cool but have no idea what to say to someone that awesome. If I speak to you I’ll end up saying strange things or just laughing a lot. It’s not you, it’s me. Seriously.

Phone calls are the bane of my existence. I’m extremely blessed to be in a job where I rarely have to talk on the phone. If I call you, I have probably given myself a script to start off the call, because there are only a few people on this earth I don’t get anxious about being on the phone with, and most of them live in the same house as me.

Making friends is like climbing a hill with no guarantee of ever reaching the top, complete with awkward conversations and heart palpitating moments along the way. This chart, found on tumblr, sums up most of my friendships:

Sometimes I feel like you have to be an extrovert to be a good Christian. (A horrifying notion.) Jesus loves people. He came to earth and spent so much time loving on people and meeting new people and being surrounded by crowds. He tells us to feed His sheep and go into the world and make disciples. So many people!

Being real here–people stress me out. A lot. 

So it seems like I’m not qualified for this being like Christ business. Especially when you need to show His love to people you don’t know. Believe me, I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to do this and for someone who gets anxious about asking a worker at a store a question, it takes a lot of fear and trembling before God to do that.

Oh God, do I have to? Maybe someone else could do it? I’ll just show your love to the middle school girls I already know, and maybe another leader can talk to the new ones. I know, I know. I’ll go over and introduce myself in 3, 2, 1…

It has gotten easier, in some situations. Middle school kids don’t seem to care how awkward I feel when I talk to them. I actually hold short conversations with the moms who have babies in the church nursery where I volunteer.

But I am so much more comfortable in the background, with the people I already know. Church event coming up? Great! How can I help in the kitchen or with the kids? I’ll tell people what to do if there’s no one else to do it, but it makes me nervous. And please don’t make me a greeter…

So there are the two sides of the situation. On the one side, God made me who I am. I can’t force myself to be a people person, and I will never be someone who meets someone and bam! Instant friend. I have my strengths as an introvert–great with small groups, great listener, absolutely ready to pray or talk one-on-one, overwhelming love for my middle school girls–and I have learned (am learning) how to balance those with my weaknesses.

On the other side, God has called me to love people. Maybe not as a greeter at church events, or as the one who goes out into the lobby to find the moms new to the church and encourage them to bring their babies to the nursery. It’s so easy sometimes to avoid talking to people and tell myself it’s because I’m an introvert and it’s exhausting and anxiety inducing.

But when that middle school girl walks in to the student center and looks lost and uncertain, I can get over myself and my insecurities and go welcome her. When standing in a Jamaican nursing home with instructions to go into the residents’ rooms to pray with them, I can pray, Oh God, I don’t know how to do this and I’m really freaked out, and then do it anyway.

Jesus doesn’t ask us to be people we are not. He does ask us to trust Him to change us and grow us into Christians–little Christs. And to do that, we need to lift our eyes off our own insecurities and fears, turn to God, and say, Ok, God. What do I do next?

I will always be an introvert, and Jesus will use me just as I am. I don’t have to worry about being different. All I have to do is turn to Jesus.

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Title: Bible; Author: Jesus

I read an article on Huffington Post the other day. That doesn’t happen very often, because Huffington Post makes my laptop freeze and do strange things. But this time I was on another computer, and the article title caught my attention.

3 Ways Jesus Read the Bible that Evangelicals are Told Not to Do

Well, this article infuriated me so much I had to write a response to it. The lack of depth and logic behind the thought and writing bothered me immensely, especially since the author says, in the article, that he is an evangelical.* (Presumably he means he is a Christian.)

The author, Pete Enns, had three main points.

1. Jesus didn’t stick to what “the Bible says,” but read it with a creative flair that had little if any connection to what the Biblical writer actually meant to say.

Wow. Let me unpack this a bit.

First, Jesus is God. Jesus inspired the Biblical writers. (All Scripture is breathed out by God. 2 Timothy 3:16a)

If anyone can read the Bible creatively, Jesus is the one.

Besides, we can read the Bible over and over and learn what the Scriptures say by heart, but we will never know what the Biblical authors were thinking as they wrote with divine inspiration. To presume that one knows specifically what that writer meant is an arrogant assumption no one should make. The same is true for any piece of written literature without the writer explicitly telling us, “I meant to say XYZ with this written work.” If anyone knew what the Biblical writers were saying, it would be Jesus.

Second, to make such a broad statement as “Jesus didn’t stick to ‘what the Bible’ says … but read it with a creative flair that had little if any connection…” is to grossly oversimplifiy and completely misread Jesus’ statements.

I don’t pretend to be a Biblical scholar or a theologian, but I’m fairly certain that one can never look only at the surface of what Jesus says. He uses so many layers of meaning that his own disciples, the people listening to him explain, were confused!

Enns gave the specific example of Exodus 3:6: “And [God] said, ‘I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.'” God is introducing himself to Moses through the burning bush, which Enns explains.

He then brings up Luke 20, where Jesus is talking to the Pharisees and Sadducees about God raising the dead. The Sadducees do not believe this, but the Pharisees do. (Enns says that Jesus was of the Pharisee party. I hope this is just Enns’s poor wording indicating that Jesus shared their belief about the raising of the dead. Considering how much time Jesus spends rebuking the Pharisees, he was definitely not one of them.)

Jesus directly references the Exodus passage in Luke 20:37: “‘But that the dead are raised, even Moses showed, in the passage about the bush, where he calls the Lord the God of Abraham and the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.'”

Enns says, well, God was just introducing himself to Moses, which Jesus then used as a way to prove the Sadducees wrong, so he is interpreting the Bible creatively.

But Enns fails to mention Luke 20:38: “‘Now he is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for all live to him.'”

I think there is a deeper meaning here than Jesus taking an introduction and using it creatively. He has a bigger point. God is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living. When he calls himself the God of those who are dead, this indicates that he is still their God, and therefore will be resurrecting them.

Maybe Enns meant this when he said Jesus reused the Exodus passage creatively. I don’t know. But he certainly didn’t explain himself, if he did mean it.

2. Jesus felt he could “pick and choose” what parts of the Old Testament were valid and which weren’t.

I reiterate my first point: Jesus is the author of the Old Testament. If he says we no longer have to follow certain parts of Old Testament law, that’s his prerogative.

Enns uses the Sermon on the Mount as an example. Jesus invalidated a lot of Old Testament law in that one teaching. Enns says, “Several times he quotes something from the Law of Moses and then contrasts what the Law says (“you have heard it said) with a teaching of his own (“but I say to you”).”

And I say to Enns, so? Matthew 5:17 says, “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

God’s entire plan for creation centers around the fact that Jesus came to change everything. The Old Testament laws are placeholders for the incredible truth and salvation Jesus gave us with his death and resurrection. That does not at all mean the Old Testament laws are unimportant or not valuable; it means that if Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also” (Matthew 5:38-39), what he says becomes the law for us to follow.

The Old Testament is filled with God’s love for humanity. But it also tells us about a whole lot of justice befalling those who do evil. The New Testament, on the other hand, focuses completely on love and forgiveness. Why else did Jesus come to earth?

As far as Enns’s point goes, I think that if Jesus felt free to pick and choose from the Old Testament, he only gave us different views on some parts because he knew which parts would change with his sacrifice and which parts stayed the same. I will say that I don’t know how much or which sections fall into which category, though.

3. Jesus read his Bible as a Jew, not an evangelical (or even a Christian).*

This point confuses me the most. I’m still not sure what exactly Enns is trying to convey. He says, “Jesus did not agree with things about the Bible that evangelicals take for granted and consider non-negotiable–like ‘stick to the text’ and, ‘God’s word is eternal and never changes.'”

I may have mentioned it already, but Jesus is God. Humans don’t get to pick and choose from the Bible, but Jesus is the author. He doesn’t have to “stick to the text” because he is the living embodiment of the text.

Herein also lies a very large and sticky debate about which parts of the Bible are cultural and can be ignored or modified in today’s society and which parts are unchangeable. I won’t delve into that, but I will say that sin is sin is sin, no matter which millenium you live in. No excuses can change that.

Enns also says, “[Jesus] revered [the Bible] in Jewish ways, not evangelical ways,” but he doesn’t really define “Jewish ways” of revering the Bible other than saying that they debated with it and had a creative flare when interpreting it. That is probably a massive oversimplification of all the different sects and groups reading the Scriptures within ancient Jewish society, but I don’t know enough about it to go any deeper.

Anyway, Enns’s final paragraph says, “If evangelicals (and I am among them) pay attention to Jesus, they will learn a vital lesson: Our own Bible shows us that getting the Bible right isn’t the center of the Christian faith. Getting Jesus right is.”

I would think the best way to “get Jesus right” would be to read the Bible and find out what he said and did. I understand that Enns seems to be trying to refocus people on following Jesus and not obsessing over things like infant baptism and literal interpretations of Genesis and the like, but the way he wrote this entire article feels like he threw the baby out with the bathwater. Pardon the expression, if you will.

There is a lot of pressure in this society to reinterpret the Bible to permit a lot of different things, and this is where that cultural debate comes in that I mentioned above. Where do we draw the line between guidelines for our own modern lives and ancient culturally specific practices? How do we know what is still applicable and what is not? (By the way, I have my beliefs about this, but I’m not foolish enough to believe I have all the answers.)

I feel that Enns’s article does a lot of evangelical and literal Biblical interpretation bashing with sentences like this: “What Jesus is doing here [in point one] wouldn’t sit well with most Christians if, say, their pastor got up and preached like this. They’d ask him or her to try and stick to the text better and if not to start looking for another line of work.” Enns essentially gives permission to interpret the Bible in new and creative ways that can disregard pieces of the Old Testament and possibly the New Testament if it doesn’t fit quite right into how we want life to be.

I’ve explained all my feelings and logic issues with this article, but I am still disturbed by the fact that it ran on a major website with hundreds, if not thousands, of people reading it and possibly buying into it.

Living by the Word of God is not supposed to be easy. If we start reinterpreting the Bible, we should examine our motivations very carefully. Are we doing it to make our lives and beliefs easier? That is very, very dangerous.

 

Note: All Bible verses quoted from the English Standard Version.

*I need to gain a better understanding of what “evangelical” really means. I have never described or thought of myself as an “evangelical”. I’m a Christian, and I attend a Protestant church, so I’m probably in the group called “evangelicals”. But I see that word a lot in secular media, and I’m not sure that I really understand who means what when they say it, especially when writers like Enns seem to make a distinction between Christian and evangelical. (Although they might not understand either…)